MANY women survive and defend marriage as consideration for the future of children, although the marriage itself did not acquire rights of women for happiness itself.
To this day, after living together as wife for 27 years, I have never felt what a happy life.
Indeed, in terms of material can be quite abundant, but in terms of mentally I was really down. Except for his treatment of me, my husband did not care about the needs of warmth and love that I craved. Even if I stay in this marriage just because my three children.
My husband was a successful businessman, but he's very selfish and when to talk or comment as good as his own, did not notice other people's feelings, especially towards me and the kids. What I regret most is that he was so cruel to the boy's number one. Since around the age of two and a half that bad boy (which is actually common delinquency or rather fussy when not feeling well), then without hesitation disabet child with a stick until his stripes. When the boy around the age of three years, suddenly the boy screamed loudly crying in a frightened voice. At that time I was nursing her sister who just three weeks of age. I rushed up to see what happens, Mom.
The boy was doused with water and are being raised will be put into the bath. It happened at around seven in the evening. He was sleepy and cranky because my husband was disturbed concentration, while he was completing our corporate bookkeeping.
I immediately seized the boy from his hand. I'm sorry, Mom, because ever since my first son was so scared when approached his father.
Especially when the child was a teenager, all the more cruel way to punish his father. Children told to stand facing a wall and beaten with a belt several times, while reviled by harsh words, like a child stupid, stupid, stupid.
I am sad, Mommy, when considering how my son his father punished. Actually, when my husband was quiet, I often advise not to punish her first child with such a cruel way, but he always argued that without trained hard and cruel that way, the child will be spoiled and can not work.
As a result of the punishment, my child be quiet, less daring, less initiative. Except that, apparently secretly children are also a grudge against his father, so until now (age 26 years) always refrain from communication with his father.
He was not at all interested in his father's company. I'm worried, because who else would succeed his father to continue the company that has been so great if not a child. I'm confused, but do not know what to do, while my husband was getting older characters more unpleasant. "Thus the complaint Mrs D (53).
Analysis
Of expression of Mrs. D, there are actually two problems are expressed. The first is the problem of marital life that did not make Mrs. D felt happy because the way her husband did not make him feel comfortable communicating, and often feel cornered and was silent for a thousand bases.
The second issue is a matter of her eldest son who hated his father and avoid communication with his father, when he was the sole heir to a family in the future because of two other children were girls.
Parenting applied to his son Mr. D is dominant, authoritarian, harsh, and cruel. Children will suffer from traumatic experiences by the treatment her father and leaving a deep inner wound.
There are two possible excessive mental attitude that will grow by a traumatic childhood experience:
(1). When a child is basically rampart, he would later emulate and make the character his father as a part of him. He will be a dominant personality, harsh, even sadistic-aggressive and incapable of compromise with the environment.
(2). When he's basically a weak character, she will be submissive personality, tend to put themselves under the authority of others, do not dare say "no" (not assertive), seem to wait for the initiative of others, do not even dare to take a decision, both for the environment and for himself.
Whatever the reaction eksesifnya, both excessive personality development opportunities will still be leaving a sense of resentment, intense hatred toward her father.
The difference is, the excessive reaction of the first, the hatred manifested in aggressive-sadistic behavior on the environment. Children will easily triggered an aggressive reaction reveals the sometimes destructive.
While the excessive reaction of the latter appears in the form of attitude does not dare to take the initiative, but is passive-aggressive, that is silence, but still, it means to survive on the attitude of resistance is not deterred, rigid, and inflexible.
Invective, insults hurt, and lowered self-esteem, especially with excessive physical punishment, will leave only the excessive hatred stretcher on a later date. So, why do not we find out about how to punish children who are educated?